Reddick Family Web

Nobility, Humility, Loyalty

First announcement to family

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The second eye doctor today wasted little time in diagnosing the problem with my right eye: Choroidal melanoma. He did some confirmatory tests, and then did an immediate — real time — referral to the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. He then got hold of my primary doctor and discussed the “work-up” that needs to be done before I go to Houston.

I start Thursday morning on the first phases of the work-up that will include brain scan, MRI and a raft of blood tests. All this will be done in Lubbock.

If I understand correctly, he is expecting to send us down to Houston some time about 2-3 weeks from now. I don’t know a lot right now.

I went into the doctor’s office at 2 p.m. By 2:45 my eyes were wide open.  By 3:15 he had completed the first exam of both eyes. His first words were, “I’m afraid it’s not good,” and then he used the “m” word. He was very blunt. He said sometimes they can do radiation, “you may lose the eye,” and he suggested, “or worse,” depending on what they find.

The preliminary work-up is designed in part to find evidence of metastasis / other cancer.

I called Nancy in Phoenix almost as soon as I knew, and then I fulfilled my regular Wednesday night temple assignment. At the temple I received a wonderful blessing from President Hendricks and Scott Wells after the 8 p.m. session.

Now you know as much as I do.

Diagnosis melanoma

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I had been having some trouble focusing my eyes on reading since May, so I made it a point in my annual checkup visits to ask for a referral to my ophthalmologist. I had mentioned to Nancy that there was something going on in my right eye, but that’s about all. Dr. Boothe saw me on July 31, and said he wanted a retina specialist to see me — Kevin Allison. The referral diagnosis was “retinal edema.”

Scheduling issues prevented me from seeing him until Aug. 20. Because I have a church assignment on Wednesdays, I was watching the clock as the afternoon appointment drew on. I left the doctor’s office some time after 4, headed for home with several conversations going on in my head at once. I thought I had understood Dr. Allison to suggest I would likely lose my eye, and that that might only be the beginning. Do I call Nancy in Phoenix and tell her, or do I wait until she returns? Do I have time to eat dinner? Should I stay home tonight? What does all this mean?

I finally decided that there was no better place to be at such a time than the House of the Lord, and that I needed to call Nancy now. So I grabbed my headset and called her as I left the house for the temple. I was concerned about her response — she was understandably distressed. I think she agreed that there was no better place for me to be than the temple, and she asked that I call when I got home.

I did. And then I composed an e-mail to family, which I sent out late Wednesday.

Benjamin Strikes it Rich in Grapevine, TX!

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Zombie Love found in Grapevine 

 

Zombie Love found in Grapevine

 

It took me nearly 15 years to come full circle and truly define what joy and contentment are for me in a relationship. As I have blogged before, I spent many years denying who I was in order to fit into a society that I did not really believe in. I feel my biggest downfall was to look for love in people who subscribe to this plastic reality that surrounds me. Every time I fell for someone I kept getting that sinking pit in my stomach that I was settling for less than what I wanted or that I somehow had to change and be someone that I am not.

Ultimately I gave up the search and decided to buy a house on my own and just go it alone. By chance I came across a special interest website for networking and dating. I suppose anyone can join but it is primarily for Death Rockers, “Goths” and Punk Rockers. I signed up in an effort to just find people I could connect with in an intellectual level because most of my friends just don’t understand me. After browsing the profiles and chatting with some people, I determined this site to be an enriching experience. On first browsing I passed over a particular profile because of some content that initially came across to me a snotty. Later,

I noticed that this person had viewed my profile too. I decided to take a second look and saw that some content had changed.  The new words hit home, and I knew I had to contact her.

We hit it off quite well, having so much in common. We chatted on AIM, she stalked me on Myspace, and when it came time to talk on the phone we both were a bundle of nerves. After our first conversation, we were convinced that we needed to meet in person. The tone of our next few conversations was to try to figure out how to overcome the physical distance between us and make this meeting happen. She talked about driving out to Lubbock but finding a sitter for her daughter proved difficult. I decided to fly down to DFW, and we found a package on Travelocity that worked so; off to the airport I rushed. When I arrived at the airport once again we were both very nervous. 

It was “Zombie Love” at first bite. After I checked in at the hotel, she took me to Deep Ellum, a district in Dallas that was once teaming with punk rockers but is now a bit run down as the city is rezoning the area into yuppyland.  It was then that I knew I wanted to marry her. I even told her so. There was still much to do and much to learn about one another. 

Ben, Amy and Emily at the Zombie Walk in February
Ben, Amy and Emily at the Zombie Walk in February

Eight months have passed and we have been spending every other weekend together as well as spending most of our free time together on the phone thanks to unlimited mobile to mobile calling. With certain maters of business behind us I figured it was time to make my move. We drove back down to Deep Ellum to Darkside Club where we had our first date only to find that it was closed for good. In fact all of the punk hangouts in the area are now closed. We decided to go to The Double Wide, another punk and psychobilly hangout on the edge of Deep Ellum. Fortunately they were open, in fact a favorite band of mine was scheduled to play there that night but their van had broken down and the show was canceled. One of the other bands in the line up had just finished playing acoustically in the corner of the bar and were packing out but decided to hang out for a while. 

After a couple of drinks I heard Johnny Cash on the juke box. It was “Ring of Fire” and I got on bended knee and asked her to marry me. With tears of joy in her eyes she accepted my invitation to this eternal journey and a winning team was born. Her name is Amy and she is a joy to know. We haven’t yet hammered out the particulars yet but we will keep you posted.

Nimajneb

Aurora Borealis shining down in Dallas

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Sunrise June 18The Muppet Movie had a number of great lines, great songs, and great lines in great songs — if you enjoy playing with words. This morning we had a glorious natural sunrise phenomenon that inspired Nancy to quote a song from the movie.

We had some thunderstorms roll through the South Plains last night, and around 8:30 our power went out for about three hours. So when we got up in the morning, we went through the ritual of re-setting the clocks and radios and anything else with real-time timers and checking other appliances for signs of life. 

There were still some lingering storms as the sun began to rise. For just a few minutes, as the rising sun peeked over the horizon but under the clouds there was a grand and glorious glow. I motioned Nancy to come outside, and her immediate response was “Aurora Borealis shining down in Dallas…” to which the only response could be “can you picture that?” Picture that?

Picture! It was a transient phenomenon, so I ran back into the house to snag a camera and did manage to get a couple of quick shots before it entirely disappeared.