It took me nearly 15 years to come full circle and truly define what joy and contentment are for me in a relationship. As I have blogged before, I spent many years denying who I was in order to fit into a society that I did not really believe in. I feel my biggest downfall was to look for love in people who subscribe to this plastic reality that surrounds me. Every time I fell for someone I kept getting that sinking pit in my stomach that I was settling for less than what I wanted or that I somehow had to change and be someone that I am not.
Ultimately I gave up the search and decided to buy a house on my own and just go it alone. By chance I came across a special interest website for networking and dating. I suppose anyone can join but it is primarily for Death Rockers, “Goths” and Punk Rockers. I signed up in an effort to just find people I could connect with in an intellectual level because most of my friends just don’t understand me. After browsing the profiles and chatting with some people, I determined this site to be an enriching experience. On first browsing I passed over a particular profile because of some content that initially came across to me a snotty. Later,
I noticed that this person had viewed my profile too. I decided to take a second look and saw that some content had changed. The new words hit home, and I knew I had to contact her.
We hit it off quite well, having so much in common. We chatted on AIM, she stalked me on Myspace, and when it came time to talk on the phone we both were a bundle of nerves. After our first conversation, we were convinced that we needed to meet in person. The tone of our next few conversations was to try to figure out how to overcome the physical distance between us and make this meeting happen. She talked about driving out to Lubbock but finding a sitter for her daughter proved difficult. I decided to fly down to DFW, and we found a package on Travelocity that worked so; off to the airport I rushed. When I arrived at the airport once again we were both very nervous.
It was “Zombie Love” at first bite. After I checked in at the hotel, she took me to Deep Ellum, a district in Dallas that was once teaming with punk rockers but is now a bit run down as the city is rezoning the area into yuppyland. It was then that I knew I wanted to marry her. I even told her so. There was still much to do and much to learn about one another.
Eight months have passed and we have been spending every other weekend together as well as spending most of our free time together on the phone thanks to unlimited mobile to mobile calling. With certain maters of business behind us I figured it was time to make my move. We drove back down to Deep Ellum to Darkside Club where we had our first date only to find that it was closed for good. In fact all of the punk hangouts in the area are now closed. We decided to go to The Double Wide, another punk and psychobilly hangout on the edge of Deep Ellum. Fortunately they were open, in fact a favorite band of mine was scheduled to play there that night but their van had broken down and the show was canceled. One of the other bands in the line up had just finished playing acoustically in the corner of the bar and were packing out but decided to hang out for a while.
After a couple of drinks I heard Johnny Cash on the juke box. It was “Ring of Fire” and I got on bended knee and asked her to marry me. With tears of joy in her eyes she accepted my invitation to this eternal journey and a winning team was born. Her name is Amy and she is a joy to know. We haven’t yet hammered out the particulars yet but we will keep you posted.
Nimajneb