Well, at least we can be grateful it wasn’t a stroke. Should have been easy to figure out. It was only my face that was messed up, not the whole right side of the body. So Nancy and Marina had figured Bell’s Palsy even before Doc McCarty came in Monday. He confirmed their diagnosis. It seems that the palsy is an artifact of a little cold I have been dealing with.
Never trust a virus you can’t see with the naked eye.
The good news is that it isn’t a stroke. The bad news is there is no cure. The good news is it usually goes away on its own, in 3-6 months. Good news is that they can hasten the acute part of the process with steroids. Bad news is that any medals I win or batting records I set in the next few weeks will become subject of controversy.
At first, this thing was kind of amusing, because it simply reminded me of a trip to the dentist. You know, when the doc gives you too much Novacaine, and the entire side of your face turns into some foreign clayey stuff. Attached to your face, but not connected.
That amalgam taste
Novacaine wears off in a couple hours.
This doesn’t, and one of the first lessons about my body that this palsy taught me is that the metallic taste on the sides of the tongue you come home from the dentist with is NOT the taste of some amalgam. It’s a perceived taste brought on by deadened nerve transmitters. So joy of joys, I’m walking around with this taste as an almost constant companion. It is really strong any time I do anything that engenders salivation.
Like eat.
Speaking of eating, we’ve all had reason to chew with just one side of the mouth. This is different. I try to put my mouth around a sandwich or an apple or something, and I have to INVITE MY MOUTH to come to dinner. The lips and cheeks on the right side of the face simply are not participating. And when I invite them to join in, I have to double check that my lip is not in the path of my teeth.
The problem with eating
Once you do start eating, there’s a new problem. Did you know that parts of your mouth, like your cheeks and inside of your lips, automatically work to move food particles into the grinding area? Well they do … if all the wires are connected. With Bell’s Palsy, they are not. The net result is that all kinds of food is falling down and getting trapped between my cheek and my gums on the right side of my mouth. I often have to run my finger through the area to pull food particles into the main eating process.
The eye things
When all the muscles on the right side of your face go limp, it kind of distorts the face. The mouth hangs down on one side. But the eye? If it weren’t for cheekbones, I’d have to worry about eating my eyeball (eyeballs is one of Aiden’s favorite topics). As it was, the eye just sort of drooped and rested on the cheekbone. But then it starts tearing all the time. Nothing sad, nothing funny, just tears. Doctor recommended eye drops, but why would I want MORE fluid?
Anyway, the eye quit drooping inside 48 hours, and the tearing ended after a couple weeks. I think I’m sad we didn’t get pictures at the beginning. It is kind of funny in retrospect.